


A book of notes

by Fantasticoncer



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avenger Reader (Marvel), Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Good Loki (Marvel), Light Angst, Marriage Proposal, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Loki (Marvel), Romantic Fluff, Supportive Avengers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23186182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fantasticoncer/pseuds/Fantasticoncer
Summary: After the last mission went horribly wrong, you refuse to go outside and barely interact with your friends and teammates. Everyone is incredibly worried about you, especially your boyfriend Loki. The God would do anything to see you smile again.One day, he gets an idea....
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	A book of notes

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that you recognise.

You stood from the table after having eaten barely anything once again. You felt the concerned looks of everyone as you left the room, but pretended not to notice. It was especially hard to ignore his eyes as they looked at you with so much concern and pain that you knew it would break your heart if you did look at him. You quickly left the room, before you could make a mistake. 

"This can't continue on. She's wasting herself." Natasha muttered once you were gone and everyone agreed. Even Tony didn't make a joke about the situation as he was just as concerned as the others. "Loki, hasn't she said anything to you?" Bruce asked and the God shook his head. "I've already tried to talk to her several times, but it feels like there's a wall between us and I can't get through." Loki answered, looking at your seat at the table with sad, tired eyes. Thor carefully patted him on the back.

You and the team had a mission a few weeks ago, but it had gone horribly wrong, resulting in many casualties. You blamed yourself for it and it showed. You barely spoke to anyone and refused to be touched by anyone, including Loki. The prince was worrying himself sick about you, having tried pretty much everything to cheer you up, but to no avail.

"I've asked her if I could help, but she shook her head immediately." Wanda told everyone and everyone nodded. They all knew that they had to do something and fast. Loki stood up and walked out as well. He found you in the library, reading a book on a soft couch. Getting one himself, he sat down next to you. Once, you would've snuggled up to him immediately, resting your head on his shoulder as you read, but not now.

Now, you were sitting with your back as straight as it could be, trying to desperately ignore your boyfriend next to you. Loki gave you a sad glance, before looking down at his own book. Ever since the bad mission, almost all you did was read. He knew it was your way to escape and to see you do it so often, hurt him more than it should've. An idea suddenly hit the prince as he was trying to read and he had to suppress a grin. He may just have found a way to get you back. After an hour, he left the library. 

A few days later, you woke up to see a book lying on your bedside table. It was the newest installment of your favourite series. You had planned to go out and get it, but then the mission had happened and you never did. You looked over your shoulder, but Loki's side of your bed was empty. Ever since the mission, you had refused any sort of contact with him. 

You knew you were hurting him, but you couldn't help it. It was your fault that the mission had gone wrong. You had gone to both Fury and Steve to ask if you could be pulled from the team, but both had refused to even so much as consider the idea. Didn't they see that things would be much better if you weren't on the team anymore? Nothing would go wrong anymore. Picking the book up, you saw a small post-it note attached to it. 

_Good morning, my darling. I know that you love this series, so I got you the newest book in it. Please do me a small favour and only read one chapter a day. You'll soon figure out why._

_I love you._

You frowned a bit, but shrugged. Since Loki had been so patient with you, even though you had refused his comfort and love so many times, you would do your best to honor his request. You settled down in bed and started to read the first chapter. At the end of it, another small note in Loki's writing was attached to it, telling you how much he loved and missed your smile You blushed at it and put the book away, but a small smile forced its way on your lips

This went on for several days. You would read a chapter and at the end of it, you'd find a note from Loki about something he loved about you. It was always something different. One was about your laugh, another was about your wit. You slowly started to smile more over those days and started to look forwards to the next day when you'd find another note. After a while, you started to eat more and come out of your room. Everyone supported you, happy to see you slowly return to your old self

When you had finished the book, you were sad that there wouldn't be anymore notes, only to find the next book you picked up filled as well. "Oh, Loki." You breathed with tears in your eyes. You were so lucky to have him in your life. Guilt filled you at how you had treated him and your friends and you told yourself to get stronger. It was time to keep fighting against this illness. 

Soon after that, Loki found you on the couch in the library once again. He sat down next to you and started to read a different book. He heard you shift just a tiny bit, but didn't see much difference in how you were sitting. You looked at him and bit your lip. _'Come on. It's just Loki. You can do this.'_ You told yourself. Taking a deep breath, you shifted a bit closer to him.

He briefly glanced up and smiled at you, seemingly not seeing what you were doing. When he turned to read again, you shifted a bit closer again. Your sides were touching now and you slowly leaned on him. You felt Loki stiffen and briefly wondered if you had made a mistake, before he gently wrapped his arm around you. "Hello, my love." He breathed, kissing the top of your head. Tears rolled down your cheeks and you started to cry as you truly realised how much you had missed his touch. "I'm sorry, Loki. I'm so sorry." You cried.

You felt Loki wrap both his arms around you. "It's alright, my darling. You have nothing to be sorry for." He whispered, stroking your hair. The God felt like he could cry himself as he felt the wall between you crumble. He loved you so much and he was so happy to have you back. He knew that there was still a long way to go, but the first step had been made and he would always stay at your side. After that day, things slowly became better.

You went to find help and found a good therapist, who allowed Loki to be in the same room during the first few sessions, until you felt comfortable enough to do it alone. It still took more than a year, before you felt good enough to go with the other Avengers on a mission, but everyone was incredibly patient and didn't push you. A few years after the bad mission, another installment of the series was brought out.

This time, you and Loki went to get it together. You put it down for the day as you had an appointment. When you came back and opened the book, another note was waiting for you at the end of the first chapter. "Loki." You muttered with a smile. Like with the previous book, you managed to read one chapter a day. A note was always waiting for you at the end of each chapter and somehow, Loki still managed to find things that he loved about you, including your strength. One day, you reached the final chapter of the book as you were sitting in what had become your couch in the library.

You were leaning against Loki as you had done before the bad mission. You felt his gaze on you every few seconds and wondered what was wrong, until you finally turned the last page and found one more note. _Will you marry me?_ Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped as you looked up at your God. "Will you?" He asked, his nerves clearly visible. You immediately nodded, tears of happiness in your eyes.

Dropping the book, you turned to face him fully and kiss him. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." You whispered after you had broken apart. Loki smiled at you, caressing your cheek. "Oh, my beautiful, strong Y/N." He breathed, before kissing you again. You smiled in the kiss as you pulled him closer. Being an avenger would always be a struggle, both physically and mentally, but with Loki at your side, you would be strong enough to keep fighting

**Author's Note:**

> I offer all my love and support to everyone struggling with PTSD, anxiety and depression. Remember to always keep fighting


End file.
